There are times things get tough, life happens, scenarios don’t go the way they are supposed to, and you just wonder why you continue to hope for something… when it “ALWAYS” seems to go this way.
Negativity, passivity, and the theatrical art of self-loathing heeds the oncoming train of Eeyore-like feet dragging, slouched shoulders, and Napolean Dynamite rock kicking… That may be too dramatic for what I’m getting at, but you know what I mean. Life is doomed and I’m meant for this path of unlucky destruction that comes my way.
Being a spiritual man, I’ve always believed “ask and it will be given.” Not in the lucky numbers, win the lottery way, but in the practical needs way. If I’m struggling with getting traction with a client, in a relationship, with my kids, or simply need the direction and guidance that only the spirit can give, I simply ASK.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” – Matthew 7:7
But you’re not still reading this for some “preacher boy” to tell you that prayer is going to fix your problems. So instead, let’s pretend this verse isn’t from the Bible, but rather a self-help book.
Ask and it will be given… well, that isn’t true, right. We ask for things all the time- at work, at home, in the marketplace, and it never comes.
Here’s what I’ve found in the world of business and in my own home: we think we ask for things, but we never actually just ask. That doesn’t really make sense, sir. This is why I started with the self-loathing talk of negativity. See, we’ve often had a conversation with the other person, with the client, with our boss, with our wife, with our kids- BEFORE we ever actually have the conversation.
I’ve walked into meetings, been in conversations, and had moments where I KNOW I said something or asked something, but in reality, I asked in my head or had the conversation beforehand and never actually got what I was looking for.
ASK the question that you want the ANSWER for. If you dance around, ask in a passive, back-your-way-in, you’ll never get the sale, never get the account, never get the job, never get any lovin’, and never get your kids to buy in to what you wish.
By asking for what you want, you’ll get the answer… sometimes it may not be the answer you desire, but you’ll have a clear answer to your question.
Seek and you will find… yeah… about that- I’ve been looking for money, status, a job, (insert what you’ve been trying to find), “I just can’t find it.”
Ever written anything down that didn’t get done? Ever sought out a prospect, an answer, an idea, or anything worthwhile and you just don’t get any traction?
Now, have you ever written something down, forgot about it, and came to find out later that you had completed it, unintentionally? Happens all the time. WHY? Because you’ve subconsciously committed to doing it.
I was convinced that there were no jobs out there that paid what I needed in a salary in my vertical… low and behold? no jobs were out there that paid what I needed. Then something happened. I really started to look and BELIEVE that there was a possibility that something was out there. All of a sudden, I had two offers- both offering exactly what I needed and wanted. Neither of them initially offered the salary I had hoped for. I asked (tactfully and honestly).
Seek and you will find… seek, believe, and you will find (for those that don’t want the spiritual version).
Knock and the door will be opened… okay, really? You’re kidding. “I’ve been on this porch of “in-between jobs” for some time.” No one is answering.
Remember when you were a child and trick-or-treating was the rage. What was the number one rule of going out and getting candy? ONLY stop at the houses with the lights on… otherwise you’d stand outside waiting and waiting with your bucket and get no candy- all while you wasted time going to the houses that had the good stuff.
The same is true in knocking and getting an answer. If no one is answering, go find a door that has a light on. If someone’s home, they’ll answer.
The other half of this is actually knocking. How could you get candy if you didn’t knock or ring the doorbell? The person behind the door can’t know you’re there if you don’t take action. and then… when they open the door, what do you have to do??? You signal for candy by asking… Trick or Treat?
Pick up the phone, call- go knock, go in- send the email- set a meeting- go knock.
Those that complain about others or have the “woe is me” attitude are often the ones that don’t ASK. They assume or hope someone will just come because they “deserve” it. The world of assumptions is ragged with asses and umps- arrogance and calls.
It may not be the only answer or thing that sets apart those enjoying life, work, relationships, but it certainly is a foundational piece in succeeding on your terms and goals- ASK.
Ask for the business.
Ask for the appointment.
Ask for the kiss.
Ask for the candy.